Breaking news!

Being transportationally challenged (they were hitchhiking) near Green Bay this past year, private eyes Mystery Mike and his St. Bernard partner, Buck, made an earth-shattering find! As the Trump motorcade sped by them, a McGlutton wrapper flew out the window of a black limo. Buck immediately retrieved it. Back home again, they ran the wrapper through their homemade computer, built with slabwood and beer cans, for DNA testing.

Mystery Mike’s intent was to find out where the president’s bone spurs really were located! Yikes, a shocking discovery! They were located in his head! But then, after further DNA testing, a startling find: the president’s body was indeed born in America, but his head was born either in North Korea or Russia!

Mystery Mike and Buck the Wonder Dog implore all Trump devotees to immediately seek transportation to Russia or North Korea ASAP, to find out where the heck their hero’s head was born, or hatched. (And hopefully stay there!)

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